A Prayer To My Suffering God
by Laijon Liu (2007.10.04)
Edited by Dear Ms. Mary Fairchild
O Savior of my life,
Will you meet me in my death?
O Deliverer of my hope,
Will you free me in my peril?
O Healer of my soul,
Will you cure all my disease?
When I cry, shedding tears
Do you taste my bitterness?
When I strive, struggling to survive
Do you stand by and offer your hand?
When I give up, with shattered dreams
Do you pick up all the pieces?
O Listener of all my prayers,
In silence and thunders I wait for your answer.
O Comforter of my broken heart,
In lonely night I search for your solace.
O Helper of my weakened strength,
In unbearable burden I seek your relief.
O Maker of heavens and earth,
May I call you my God?
Even if I never know your name,
Even if I've done some shameful things,
Even if I betrayed you and ran away once.
But will you forgive me for all my wrongs?
Will you help me when I reach toward you with my tiny hands?
Will you grant me peace even though we battled all our lives?
People say you set the rules,
But I know you truly love.
When others judge my covers,
You attend my heart and mind.
When my road leads into dark storms,
You will light up my eyesight.
When I fall on hard ground,
You will lift me up to rise.
When I face hardship and scorn,
We will together share our portion.
When I suffer in a hopeless sickbed,
We will together battle in each breath.
When I'm lost alone and lingering,
You will be with me, and guide me home.
One day I'll die and depart,
But I truly believe
You will lift me up.
O God, our Savior, listen to our prayer.
Fill our hunger, heal our sickness,
Comfort our souls.
If you wish not to answer,
Then please wait for us,
Because we are about to shut our eyes.
This poem/prayer is for all of us who are suffering in sickness, injury, departure, loneliness, overwhelming regrets, unrecoverable embarrassment, and hopeless situations in this world. A painful cry of death, man's prayer, is an urgent request, but somehow and sometimes answered in silence.
We have some prayers that need to be answered, but we are confused by his 'silence.' Lessons in obedience and perseverance are how we try to understand God's will, but I believe God is with us in our suffering and pain. He bears much more than we could ever know. So I call him our suffering God.
Some prayers he answers in his perfect will, which is not always what we think. But no matter what, he takes his portion in our pain, and our death, he takes away. God is present with us in life and even in our death.